SINK or SWIM

Duality. By definition: meaning two fold, a classification in to two opposed parts or subclasses. Ever present in all areas of life. The good and the bad, right vs. wrong, yin & yang. When we're faced with opposition, it's important to remember that we always have a choice. We are the creator of our own reality. Of course, there are experiences in this life that we did not willfully choose, but we are still able to gain control by choosing how we want to react or respond in this world. This is no light task. Learning how to witness, observe, and manage your mind does not happen naturally over night. It takes discipline (in yoga we call this Sadhana), patience, practice, and radical self acceptance.

Originally, I started writing this post with my intention based upon my own experiences of duality when it comes to Intrepid. Like many lessons I have learned from Intrepid, one common thread is that each lesson always seems to have an underlying metaphor for life. Recently, in an even grander scale, I feel these teachings are being mirrored not just within my own life but globally too. We are being faced with a new order of life, requiring us to dive deep in to the unknown. This is where we have a choice, maybe not physically, considering we are being told to self-isolate but mentally and emotionally we have the power to step in to the unknown with hope and optimism or to succumb to fear and negativity.

"When life gives you lemons, at least you won't get scurvy."

This past year has brought many challenges and opportunities for growth. Personally, I had to have my world shaken to the core to finally wake up and come back to reality. I wonder if this is just the human condition? "Do we need to hit rock bottom to step in to our power?" But, in truth we are all innately adaptable, resilient beings. I found myself, single, without children, and self employed, questioning to myself "what do I really want?"

Living aboard Intrepid has always been a dream of mine. Ever since launching her a couple years ago, I knew that one day I would be able to make it happen..

When push came to shove, I finally took a leap of faith to challenge myself as an independent sovereign being. I asked myself, "If not now, when?"

I moved on to Intrepid full time this past January. I know what you're thinking, and I've definitely questioned my own sanity at times too. Moving on to a boat in the middle of winter doesn't seem like something someone in their right mind would do. Call me crazy, call me stubborn, call me whatever you want to call me - all I know is that I've never felt more clear. Going back to the basics has challenged me to stay extremely present. Chop wood, carry water - so to speak. (I do carry water but my heat is propane!)

For the last 3 months I have been adjusting to boat life on Intrepid and I think we're finally starting to figure it out. I say 'we' because it truly is a symbiotic relationship, we're in this together. There have been cold, stormy, sleepless nights, clogged sinks, broken head pumps, drained batteries, mildew, and condensation to name a few.. It has been clear that if I take care of her, she will take care of me too. There have been moments when I've felt like giving up. Many friends, family, and even acquaintances have offered me shelter, food, heat, supplies, and even their bathtubs. I have learned to accept help when I do need it, regardless of how stubborn I am to be self sufficient. I am not going to lie, I love baths and will take you up on that offer any day!

In those moments when I feel overwhelmed with the list of projects or even daily tasks of survival, I remind myself to stay present and focus on what really matters. Constant check ins, "What is at the top of my list today?" Thankfully, mindfulness has helped me stay on course. This has brought an increase in self awareness to what is truly important. I have gained so much gratitude for the simple things in life, like running hot water for example...

"Chop wood. Carry water."

I am still not quite sure why I feel the need to challenge myself to such extremes. Maybe it's a sense of truly feeling alive? Maybe I am testing myself to see if I can hold my own in this world? Maybe I am just trying to prove to myself that I don't need a man to rely on? All I know is that I am adamant about not relying on others, as codependent relationships in the past have left me feeling weak, vulnerable and helpless.

So, here I am in duality once again. I am self-isolating or boat bound (as I call it) on Intrepid, with a head cold during the Covid-19 pandemic. In a weird way, I have been gearing up for this kind of isolation/independence/challenge since move in day. Although I am set up, I am still having to ask for help. There are some supplies/necessities that I am unable to get. Being independent and sovereign does not mean that asking for help renders you weak.

As with my own experiences of duality being mirrored globally, we are all in this together. We are all being asked to take care of ourselves, and each other too. Reach out if you are in need, whether that need is toilet paper or even just a friend to vent to. I'll be here, hanging with my girl Intrepid working on some long over due procrastinated projects... please, feel free to call me anytime.

We all have a choice. Ask yourself, do you want to sink or swim?

Sending big love from Intrepid <3

Fair winds and following seas,

Cpt. Coco