STOP FUCKING MANSPLAINING.

DISCLAIMER: I do not hate men. Not ALL men are 'mansplainers.' This is a post directed to those who are, and who may not even be aware that they are in fact 'mansplaining.' (Please note that the term mansplaining is commonly used and is now in the dictionary.)

This post is based on my own personal experiences, and in my case I have not been subject to 'womansplaining' (which is currently not on official term - fancy that.)

I have to say, it's also frustrating that I even feel the need to write a disclaimer. . .

Alright, I may be young, I may be a woman, I may be blonde but that DOES NOT warrant you the power to give me unsolicited advice. I am so fucking sick and tired of men telling me what to do, and how to do it. So, here I am 'woman-splaining' what 'man-splaining' is, because clearly you mansplaining men out there are unconscious, oblivious, and ignorant to the fact that you are being condescending and misognyistic in your demeaning explanations.

"Please, for the love of all women, stop fucking mansplaining." - Cpt. Coco

I am an independent woman, and am able to use my vocabulary to communicate if I need to ask a question or seek out advice. First, I like to see if I can figure it out on my own. Then, I may search Google or YouTube, or even venture to the local library. If all else fails, If I am still challenged, I will usually reach out to a professional in the specific field. I like to learn new skills, and try new things. I love the element of surprise, when someone's eyes light up when they say "you did that all by yourself?" Even more so, I love that feeling of accomplishing a foreign task on my own. It gives me the strength, pride, and confidence to continue learning. Sure, sometimes I fail but only knowledge can be gained from my own personal trial and error.

In my experience, being an empowered, educated, and beautiful woman can intimidate a man and their conditioned, constructed idealization of their male ego. That is not my issue, I am merely showing up as myself as a sovereign being in this world. I find it excruciating to be judged and criticized based on anything else - especially my sex. Maybe, I should just accept that I am not seen as I my true self in the eyes of men, and that is completely out of my control. BUT, instead I say FUCK THAT. Times are changing, and have been for some time now... If you haven't noticed.

I try not to take things personally, I understand that men are the way they are but after seeing this pattern repeat again and again, it's now time for me to speak my peace.

I understand that the men who have infuriated me in the past may not even read this. If anything it's a place for me to vent, share, relate, and educate. First, for my own cathartic purpose and second for anyone else who decides to listen.

I will admit, and I'm sure you can feel it in my tone that my frustration regarding this issue has made me edgy, harsh, cynical, and aggressive. All of which, are not in my true nature, and characteristics that I do not want to exude.

Although not unheard of, it is rare to see women empowered on the water. I have even been told that "women don't belong on boats," which was stated by someone I thought to be consciously aware as an evolved being. I have been told how to turn on a power washer. I have been told that I should have a gun aboard, you know, to protect me from ...pirates? I have been told how to tie a knot - as I am tying a knot. I have been told many things by many men, imposing their patriarchal, non-consensual, unsolicited advice.

Even this morning as I'm minding my own business and tending to my dinghy garden, I was told how and when to plant cauliflower. I am constantly being bombarded by men at the dock or at the shop, stating, pointing, and critiquing whatever job it is that I am doing.

Sometimes I wonder, do I have a huge sign above my head saying, "I don't know what I'm doing - please send help!" Why do men feel the need to approach me without question, and state what I am doing is either 'wrong' or how to do it 'right'?!

Please, to all you mansplainers out there, for the love of all women (boaters or not) STOP FUCKING MANSPLAINING! I am aware that creating conscious awareness to objectively view yourself and your actions is not an easy task, so here let me womansplain a couple options for you to start with. . .

Some alternative options you can use sound like:

"Would you like some help?"

"Would you like some advice?"

"May I help you?"

*Please notice, that these are all questions not statements or directions.

You may read this and think I am now being condescending, well, I am. It's now my turn to womansplain how it is.

I see all relationships as teachers, and a few lessons I have learned from 'the mansplainer' are patience, resilience, and self confidence. Trust yourself, take advice or leave it, listen to your intuition, and communicate boundaries. Know your worth, know your strength, know your sovereignty - and stand firm in your 'woman' power!

With strength and power

Fair winds and following seas,

Cpt.Coco

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#STOPFUCKINGMANSPLAINING